Desire, attraction, seduction: These are the essential ingredients for arousal and acquiring love, but they are also elements as elusive and capricious as a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
Text by Francesca Cruz | June 6, 2018 | Lifestyle

Sweet seducing sighs are most palpable in the month of February when we pay homage to the patron saint of love & friendship, good ol’ St. Valentine. But before we get down and dirty with the nitty-gritty of desire, attraction and seduction — let’s venture to recall the story behind St. Valentine himself and the festivities associated with him.
During the 3rd Century, Claudius III, who ruled Rome (a bit of a bully and known to his people as Cruel Claudius), believed coupling made soldiers weak. He issued an edict banning marriage to ensure the quality of his soldiers. He wanted his troops virile, and ready to brawl. Bishop Valentine felt it a great injustice and aided all clandestine lovers wishing to be united in holy marriage.
Enraged by his rebellious spirit, the emperor imprisoned the incorrigible bishop. While under lock and key, his jailor persuaded Valentine to use his power to heal his blind daughter. With the ironic twist that every love story should have, Valentine restored the gal’s vision and they fell madly in love.
Refusing to give into the emperor’s bullying or give up his beliefs, Valentine was executed on Feb. 14, 278 A.D. But just before his execution, he was allowed to write a letter to his inamorata, and on that fateful day he signed it: From Your Valentine — a phrase that has lived on ever after.
As another Feb. 14 rolls around, we can thank the willful bishop as friends & lovers alike express their deepest affections…while some lonely souls feel all the more alone. This Valentine’s Day, how will you spend it? In a warm embrace feeling loved? Or like many others — alone and wanting your very own Valentine; baffled by love’s secrets and thinking “What have they figured out that I haven’t?”
Desire, attraction and seduction make up this enchanted potion called love — the magic elixir to the Holy Grail of amore. As Author & Seduction Expert Chen Lizra notes: “Seduction is the process of knowing what one wants, having the willingness to go after it, and being fearless and unafraid of rejection.”
First, we must know what we want…meaning what we desire. You can’t imagine how many individuals can’t verbalize what they truly want. They meander about in a constant fog of wanting, unable to have a clear idea of what that is. Once you can clearly state what it is that you desire, then you must instill desire in that which is desired — meaning the act of reciprocity.
Attraction has to do with projecting a certain level of perceived value. When you have the desired mystified or charmed and desiring you, you must show a level of value to keep them hooked into the trance. Sort of like a snake charmer, but minus the negative connotation. For example, Matthew Hussey, Author of Get The Guy describes it as being certain and confident about your own worth. “It’s important to have a life that any partner would be thrilled to be part of,” he says. “You must also have the principles and the integrity to uphold them, and must not be afraid of your authentic self.”
Being of high-value means you’re not sitting around idly waiting for life to happen, or for someone to call. Instead, you’re taking the bull by the cojones and creating a life for yourself. If the individual you’re courting or being courted by is unsure of what they want — someone of high-value will not sit around waiting for them to decide. High-value guys and gals move onto the next desirable option — life is way too short for second-guessing.
There’s also the obvious form of attraction, as Dr. Paul Dobransky, Author of The Secret Psychology Of How We Fall In Love puts it: “Make yourself regularly visible in a condition of heightened beauty. Don’t set unrealistic goals, and do your best with what you’ve got,” he says. “In the case of men, because they have a hunter impulse, they don’t pay attention to things that don’t change, move or shift.” In other words, being unpredictable, mysterious, intriguing and untamable creates a heavy dose of attraction in men as well as in women.
And Robert Greene, Author of The Art Of Seduction, agrees. “The emphasis is on charisma, it must seem mystical,” he says. “The basic qualities that will help create the illusion of charisma are: purpose, mystery, eloquence, theatricality, being uninhibited, fervency, vulnerability, adventurousness and magnetism.”
So this Valentine’s Day, those in love should aim to step it up a notch, to add some pizzazz to existing romances and throw in a flare for adventure, some theatrics, a cup of fervency, stick to your ideals and attempt to be less inhibited with your partner. For those finding themselves single, make sure to take to heart what the experts have listed as principles to adopt in the art of falling in love. And who knows? You might just find yourself right in the path of Cupid’s arrow.