Little Jimmy just threw his sister’s Hatchimal out the window…Dad’s acting like Betty White in those Snickers commercials…and Mom is debating whether an “I told you we should have gone to Cabo” is an appropriate statement to jab Pops with given the chaos. While on a family road trip, missing a meal can detour your dreams of family bliss, but making sure you pack enough snacks will keep tempers cooler than the hot summer sun.
Have you ever stopped at a red light belting “Bohemian Rhapsody” at the top of your lungs only to look over and make eye contact with the guy a lane over mid “Mama, ooouuuohhh” and suddenly feel like you should skip to “Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go” as your face turns 50 shades of red? Well, if you won’t subject strangers to your off-key antics, why on Earth should your carmates suffer through it?! Sure, sing-alongs are great, as long as everyone consents.
Your interior is now stickier than Spidey’s webs. Fast-forward 3 weeks since you got back from Wally World and that smell emanating from the back seat has taken on an eye-watering reek. There’s a half-eaten McRib that’s playing an epic game of hide & seek and totally #Winning. Scroll through Yelp for the best-rated mobile carwash and book in advance, an extra $20 spot and they’ll surgically remove all the Jurassic-sized critters that hitched a ride, too.
Are We There Yet?
Wifey’s got her mind set on being on Roadshow so you take that dirt road detour to the antiques store that boasts as many rusty cars as the owner has teeth…Lucky #7. Meanwhile, Junior is demanding a stop at the family home of Ray Finkle and you promised the twins s’mores before the sun sets. Luckily, your handy new Food Genie app saves the day right on cue and gets you to Bubba’s BBQ before they’re out of burnt ends.